Doing What Isn't Easiest

Today is a rainy, cold day, just perfect for staying inside with a little baby, which is exactly what I'm doing.  She's been fed, laundry folded, dishes washed, and carpets vacuumed.  We'll go in a little bit to pick up the big kids in the carline, and, truth be told, I may just wear pajamas for the ride.

But my thoughts are on tomorrow.

This all-day rain is turning the trails into a muddy, sloppy mess. The trails will be tougher to navigate, the rocks slippery and dangerous.   Our feet will be soaked for most of the race.   Plus, the weather forecast calls for a cold start, near freezing.

I have a baby, don't I have an excuse to skip out on this race, just this once? I know how nice and warm and cozy the house will feel tomorrow, how sweet the baby will be as I snuggle with her. Yes, sometimes the juxtaposition of tough trail runner and new mom hits me hard. The contrast is so stark.

However, I know myself.  I know I will wake up and follow the plan I've made to get myself out of the door and away from her.  I will dig deep and do what's uncomfortable tomorrow FOR her.  I will do it so she knows one day, she can do something that challenges her too.   She will know she doesn't have to take the easy road.

I began my Mountain Mist journey 13 years ago and hope to achieve the high honor of 10 finishes next year.  I was 25 years old then, a young little thing and really free too.  I was at Auburn earning my Master's degree, not even married yet!   Through many changes in my life, this race remains a constant.  Tomorrow will mark the 11th time I've toed the start line of Mountain Mist (yes, I started it twice while pregnant).   It will hopefully mark my 9th finish.   I've gone through having 3 babies in that time, one only 7 months ago.   I can't expect this body to do the same thing it did at age 25, can I?

I know this.  I won't have an amazing time tomorrow.  That's okay.   I will DO SOMETHING.  I will not sit in my bathrobe as I have countless days since the baby's birth.   I will not give in to what is easiest.

Here is a quote I really like that speaks to doing something challenging.

"Did you not call this a glorious expedition? And wherefore was it glorious? Not because the way was smooth and placid as a southern sea, but because it was full of dangers and terror; because at every new incident your fortitude was to be called forth and your courage exhibited; because danger and death surrounded it, and these you were to brave and overcome. For this was it a glorious, for this was it an honourable undertaking."

--Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

I hope that tomorrow will not be smooth and placid.  Bring on the rain and mud and cold.  I can't wait for my fortitude to be called forth.  I want to do something that requires me to be courageous and brave.   So, good-bye Baby for the longest time I've left you yet.  Hello to adventure and to showing my kids what to do when they meet something tough.